The Love Language Dilemma

Kate's love language is clearly not Tacos.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I shouldn’t have to prove that I love her?

(27m, 23f) My girlfriend Kate (23f) is a bit needy. She believes in the whole "love languages" thing and wants affection 50 different ways. I am not an affectionate person in the slightest. I don't like to cuddle her or say "I Love You" all the time or any of that. It's not that I don't love her, it's just that I don't feel the need to show it off. In the beginning of our relationship I did the whole "romantic" song and dance, but now that we've been together for a while now I don't really see it as necessary. Unfortunately she doesn't really agree. She brought it up to me since Valentines day was a couple days ago. She made me breakfast and gave me a snack basket with my favorite snacks. Now she says I should've at least given her a hug or something for the effort. I got annoyed and said that I shouldn't feel obligated to do anything like that. I reminded her I'm not an affectionate person and I shouldn't have to prove that I love her, that she should just know I do. Now she's accusing me of putting in no effort, which is bs since we literally live together, and says she feels unloved and unappreciated. I just told her that that's on her and I shouldn't have to change myself for her. Now she's just sulking and stopped acting affectionate with me and I'm starting to wonder if I was wrong. AITA?

Sometimes love's confusing

The AITA Court of Public Opinion is now in session.

Plaintiff: Kate (A.K.A. The Affection-Starved Girlfriend)

Charges: Emotional Neglect, Affection Evasion, Valentine's Day Apathy

Defendant: OP (A.K.A. The Stoic Who Loves in Silence)

Defense: Love Should Be Implied, Hugs Are Not a Requirement

Statement of Facts:

• Kate believes in love languages and enjoys affection as a way of feeling loved.

• OP is not affectionate and thinks love doesn’t need to be “proven” all the time.

• Early in their relationship, OP played along with romance, but once things got serious, he dropped the act.

• On Valentine’s Day, Kate made OP breakfast and a snack basket. In return, she wanted a hug or some sign of appreciation.

• OP refused and stated he shouldn’t feel obligated to express love physically.

• Kate felt hurt and unappreciated, leading to a standoff where she withdrew affection too.

• Now, OP is wondering—did he mess up?

The Verdict:

Relationships are about compromise, and while no one should be forced into affection, neither should love be treated like a silent contract. Living together isn’t enough—effort matters.

However, love shouldn’t be a checklist of requirements, either. If OP truly struggles with showing affection, maybe he should find other ways to express it—because telling someone to just “know” they are loved? That’s a hard sell.

Final Judgment: OP gets a YTA (You’re The Asshole) with a suspended sentence—until he finds a way to meet Kate halfway.

Sentence: One mandatory hug per week or risk relationship purgatory.

What’s your verdict? Is Kate asking for the bare minimum, or is OP being unfairly judged for not being the touchy type? Drop your ruling below! ⚖️🔥

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